Feeling Terrible

 I'm glad that even I can't find this blog if I tried to look for it. The other day I tried typing in the name of the blog, "Everyday Epiphanies" and my name, and no results showed up. 

It's cathartic to be able to write thoughts down so, I've just been thinking: I feel like an all-around terrible human. A terrible daughter. A terrible sister. A terrible friend. A terrible law student. A terrible Christian. And a terrible person outward and inwardly, to others and to myself.

I feel like an ocean tide. The back-and-forth of the waves is inevitable and that perpetuity makes me sick. Whenever I feel like this, I feel better a few hours or days later, which results in a lot of the positive posts on this blog. And after a while of feeling confident and encouraged, I come back to where I started, feeling terrible. Is there no end to this? Can't I just feel one way or the other? If I go from feeling bad to good, I feel like my feeling bad was pathetic, melodramatic, and a waste of time. If vice versa, I feel like I've lost hope and I've been disillusioned into thinking I could hope for better.