Back at it, Boys

 I fell into a rabbit hole. 

WHEEEEEE..!!!

I haven't written stream of consciousness since I was in middle or high school XD 

I just watched (re-watched) Smosh Mouth's diary entries podcasts and it led me down a rabbit hole of reading my old chats in Gmail, specifically with Kristina and Jenny. It reminded me of the SmoshPit Theater videos with the cast acting out Courtney's diaries and Angela's AIM chats. I saw a reference to a blog post in my old chats, which lead me to rediscover these blogs!

I just spent the past several hours shirking my duties to read these. I saw both wisdom and stupidity. I cringed hard but I loved to see the younger me and wanted to comfort her. I saw patterns that emerge even now and events and thoughts I completely forgot and wonder if I made them up for The Reader or if they were true.

I'm so happy I wrote these. I don't write a daily journal (and I wish I had at some points but honestly, that would be too much to read) but I'm happy that these time capsules keep a record of the different versions of me throughout time. Not only this blog but notes in my phone, Google Docs, old writing assignments and texts and messages. I associate journaling with my middle and high school years but I find posts from even six years ago. What was I doing six years ago?? Let's see (trying to write like Amanda Lehan-Canto).

I just moved to Washington two (2!) months ago, in June 2026. I've been at Osborn Law in Texas since November/December 2023? And then about a year in Daspit, so since uhh fall-ish 2022. How many years, okay, four back. 2020 -- right, it was height of the pandemic. Second?? year of law school. The sad, reflective posts makes sense.

Doing this reminds me of when I typed at the start of Daspit, because we had nothing to do. Now I type because I have too much to do. It's funny that I see the root of procrastination in my post when I was only 10 or 12 years old. I guess it's just part of me LOL

I'm not trying to take myself too seriously anymore. I never really understood what that phrase meant. I feel like it applies now. I read how serious I was. It's okay to be serious. But damn, I was SO judgmental of myself and kept correcting myself in case The Reader (which always was, always will be just me) catches me in my flaws. Even now, as The Reader, when I see flaws, I smile. I find it very endearing. Future me, you find me cute too, don't you ;) 

I'm back to reflecting because I feel stuck again. But it's funny to read my past entries when I felt similar because I always look back fondly and the depressed parts are more of a blur.

I honestly don't see this post going anywhere HAHA just felt like I wanted to put something down after reading so much, just to throw another post into the time capsule.

STATS (salute): 28 years old (lol I totally forgot for a second) ((I wish young me could see me write now as compared to college me lol she would def prefer to hang out with the cooler auntie me)); uhhh 196 lbs and PRETTY HAPPY! I didn't gain too much which means that the healthy-ish eating and metformin are doing me good (although I've been eating wayyy more sweets); um still diabetic as far as I know; 5' 5" ish?; working as an associate attorney at Pacific Northwest Family Law (looooong as fuckin name), earning $100k (read it and WEEP) BUT I spent like $2k in leisure expenses last month. I SCARE ME LOL but part of that was spending $1k so Yeji can visit me at the end of this month :) Um still single, kinda curious to mingle, but too much emotional drag right now. I definitely have chat notifications waiting for me that I have not opened. Eczema has calmed down but left white, discolored markings on my arm that remind me of deer spots. Loosing hair lol. I really want to use emojis. 

that's all I got for you fam, ttyl. Maybe I'll be deep again later. I kinda wanted to finish that gay post from earlier and really think about when and how that came to be. Because oh, it's definitely real but I can't remember when it happened? Kind of?